We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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