God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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