North Korea, Best Korea!
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
