that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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