listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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