this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
