i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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