There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
