spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
