i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
