State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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