All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
be right there i have to get my cape
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
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