Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
