last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
