well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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