And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
