He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I have tasted many bathrooms
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
