I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
