You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
