what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
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