Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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