I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
