Non-Jews are for practice
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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