i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
