all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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