Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
