You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
