This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
