I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
