peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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