So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
