alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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