I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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