i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
