My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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