I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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