I think i peed on brittanys purse
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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