Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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