I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you inspire me to be a worse person
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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