Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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