i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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