we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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