yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
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