ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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