Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
