yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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