So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She said her name was "party"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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