left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
