Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
