Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
