How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
