you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I believe in your delicious
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
